According to her

"According to Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, when we are dying or have suffered a catastrophic loss, we all move through five distinct stages of grief. We go into denial because the loss is so unthinkable, we can't imagine it's true. We become angry with everyone, angry with ourselves. Then we bargain, we beg, we plead, we offer everything we have, we offer our souls in exchange for just one more day. When the bargaining has failed and the anger is too hard to maintain, we fall into depression, despair until finally we can let go. We let go and move into acceptance." (Grey's Anatomy S06E01).

and finally I know that's what I've been through these weeks. Grief. I'm not dying but I lose my soul, myself. So I'm grieving about it. I went through all the phases, and now I'm in the last stage I think. Acceptance. After a talk with my friend, I just realized all the time wasting. A life that I'm not enjoyed it at all. It feels like a switch inside my soul switched on and its totally change me. I feel new light.. hahaha. Enough with the metaphora but now I'm starting a brand new chapter in my life. I'm trying my best not to be negative anymore and though it felt different from my usual self but I kinda like it. My friends kinda surprise to see the difference but like it too. And deep inside I know they are fully supporting me. All I can say now, I feel happy. The feeling that I haven't felt quite for a long time. ^________________^

p/s: I'm browsing a new handphone.. hehehehe^_^