Thursday, March 22, 2012

life updates.

hi. I'm still alive. okthxbai.

hahaha. gosh. now dah dekat hujung bulan March. I'm so lazy. pfft. Well, it's been lazy times these few months. Plus I don't know la, lots of things happen, I can't quite catch up too let alone to share it to people. The last post I thought about telling bout the trips, but since it has been months after the trip, macam xda mood plak nak tulis. anyway these are my life updates so far:

  • I am officially my family's driver. So it's kinda sucks because there are times when I just don't want to move anywhere and stays in my bed, but then mom ask this or that, or my sister want to go to Spring to shop. 
  • I also officially not going to graduate this year. Yes. I'm extending two more years. With all nosy cousins and relatives keep asking for reason, it's pretty intimidating. And yes I'm pretty upset about it too. Well who's not, right? No one ever plans to extend their study. My friends are going to grad this year and I'll just there to congratulate them, it sounds pretty pathetic and sad. What to do~ What's done is done..
  • Anyway, I have found my passion. Firstly, I agree that engineering is not my passion. I've been struggling  really to ensure that I'm not fail terribly which sometimes I do. And this semester, I've pretty much figured out what I'd love to do if I want to keep being in engineering field in future. I think I am moving toward soil mechanics and engineering. I don't know if it was because FYP related with soils but I found it really interesting to study about it. And I am more to the soil dynamics. I'll guess 90% is because I took that subject as my elective course, and Prof Kaniraj really good at teaching us that. What I love about soil mechanics is it's so unpredictable. There is no definite pattern or characteristic. Yes, the assumptions are based on ideal condition but earth is not ideal. Different things happen in different places. It's so mysterious that keeps me want to know more and more. I can talk about soil for hours and be amuse about that at the same time. hahaha. Somehow I can see where I'm headed. I make plans for me. I even have a thought about sambung Master for this. 
  • I notice that when I'm being a bias, it's really shown. My other subject note books have unrelated doodles here and there, but in my Soil Dynamic notebooks I write all the important notes. I even did all the exercises and tutorials. I have this post-it-notes here and there emphasize the details and what not. I'm so bias. hahahaha!
  • I've started to watch National Geographic! wow~ before I never really open that channel. But these days the shows are really interesting
  • I'm a fan of reality shows. So 80% of shows that I've watched are reality show. SYTYCD, American Idol, The Voice, KPOP Stars and so on.. In SYTYCD, I love Melanie and Marko, and yes I do know Melanie won this season. Yay! In American Idol, I've yet to be fan of anyone. In The Voice, I'm a fan of lot of contestants. Lindsay Pavao is #1, #2 is Mathai (I love her version of 'Rumor Has It'), and the third is Pip because he is so adorable! oh. I forgot. I love Charlotte Sometimes and Juliet Simms too. I've been fan of both artists even before they joining The Voice. In Kpop Star, I love Lee Ha Yi with her soulful voice. And from this show I've got to know a lot really good songs and singers. For example a few Korean ballads, which are actually really awesome and menyayat hati. And also I found Rachael Yamagata which has a lot of beautiful songs. 
  • What else? hmmm.. I've lose some weight the other week that gained some on the next. But I gain more than I lose so... Sigh.. I am conscious about my weight yet I didn't really try to lose it down. I still eat a lot, I don't exercise. Haiseh so unhealthy...
  • These few weeks has been really stressful. It was a busy week but I grew accustomed to it, so less stress about it. But somehow I felt down most of the times. Maybe because I don't get enough rest or sleep or social interaction perhaps. I was emo-ish the whole week sampaikan I secluded myself from others. I want to share it to my best friends but I don't really know how to explain it to them. It just like clutters in my head that no one would understand. Sometimes I tried to write my thoughts and post it in my FB or twitter or here but then I deleted it. Saying something like 'feels like my life doesn't feel worthy anymore and I just want it to be over' sure will raise some concerns to other people especially those who are close to me. Even me, myself thought it sounds like suicidal and I don't mean in that way.. After a few days, I pull myself together and get through the day. Enjoy what I can. I feel better now, not that emo-ish anymore. It's probably due to some hormonal imbalance makes me feel that way.
I'm out of ideas. But actually there are really lots of things going in my life right now and I am really busy trying to balance it out. Nevertheless, I'm happy to know that I found something that I'll love. Maybe next time I'll found SOMEONE to love. hehehehe. :D