Tuesday, January 22, 2013

The Truth about me. I guess.

I have nothing to do. My friend posted this in facebook, so I've decided to give it a go. I've done this before but let's update some of the information, shall we? :)


1. last beverage = tea

2. last phone call = Mom.
3. last text message = Vann.
4. last song you listened to = Diamonds- Rihanna
5. last time you cried = yesterday. after tengok MyHime. destiny surely being cruel.


6. dated someone twice = yup.

7. been cheated on = yup
8. kissed someone & regretted it = nope
9. lost someone special = I guess so.
10. been depressed = yeap.. 2010 never been kind to me. Sigh.
11. been drunk and threw up = mmmuahhahahahha.. I guess so. crazy times indeed.


12. Blue

13. Red
14. Black


15. Made a new friend = lots!

16. Fallen out of love = nope I think.
17. Laughed until you cried = Countless! :D
18. Met someone who changed you = hmmmm... I'm not sure if what changes me is just this person
19. Found out who your true friends were = I think I know who they are long ago.
20. Found out someone was talking about you = people talks, so I don't bother to find out about it.
21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend's list = yeah~ 


22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life = 90% 

24. Do you have any pets = Nope. My family wasn't pet-friendly. except my little sister. 
25. Do you want to change your name = Nope. My name is fine.
26. What did you do for your last birthday = eating out with my family. having fun with my friends. Funny though I can't remember about that...
27. What time did you wake up today = 11 something. =.="
28. What were you doing at midnight last night = reading. I can't sleep, so might as well read something..
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for = graduate. gosh I can't wait! :D
30. Last time you saw your Mother = last night. 
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life = hmmm.. my weight. life is fine now. Not perfect, but it's fine. 
32. What are you listening to right now = sounds of kipas....
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? = maybe. Had I? Not that I can recall.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now = results. :(
35. Most visited webpage = Yahoo. (Suprisingly)
37. Nickname = Athy, Atey, Taytay, Taaaaayyyyy~~~
38. Relationship Status = Single. Unless being a devoted girlfriend of Bigbang TOP count as a relationship :)
39. Zodiac sign = Scorpio
40. Male or Female = Female
41. Elementary = SK Agama Miri/SK Agama Sibu
42. High School = SMK Agama Sibu
44. Hair color = Black-ish.
46. Height = =.=" why oh why? 155? plus minus.
47. Do you have a crush on someone = obviously. It's fun to have a crush on someone. :D
48. What do you like about yourself? = being me. hahahhaha.. ntahla. 
50. Tattoos = none. 
51. Righty or lefty= both. but right is the dominant.


52. First surgery = Around 4 y.o. I have Harry Potter scars :D(I don't think I should be proud of that)

53. First piercing = my ears. 6 y.o. Then it irritates me, so I don't wear any earrings, until 18 y.o
54. First best friend = Hartini. we were friends since tadika. sampe I pindah Sibu
55. First sport you joined = Bola Jaring. But I was more into athletic though..
56. First vacation = Pulau Pinang. I was still in my mom's womb. HahahahhaXD
58. First pair of trainers = hmmmm... dunno.


59. Eating = tadi. sandwiches..

60. Drinking/Swallowing = nope.. 
61. I'm about to = garu my forehead, thinking of the answer..
62. Listening to = still the sounds of Kipas
63. Waiting for = for now, I don't wait for anything. 


64. Want kids? = ABSOLUTELY! who doesn't 

65. Get Married? = (using Snape's cynical tone) Obviously..
66. Career? = Engineer? That part of me haven't decided yet..


67. Lips or eyes = eyes

68. Hugs or kisses= both? ;)
69. Shorter or taller = TALLER.. I'm a not-so-tall person, so I prefer guys taller than me :)
70. Older or Younger = Older. 
71. Romantic or spontaneous = both? Isn't being spontaneous is romantic?
72. Nice stomach or nice arms = hmmm.. don't really think about that. I don't mind either way..
73. Sensitive or loud= sensitive I think.
74. Hook-up or relationship = relationship.
75. Trouble maker or hesitant = mischievous ;p


76. Kissed a stranger = nope. 

77. Drank hard liquor = Don't think so..
78. Lost glasses/contacts = always. =.="
79. Sex on first date = no. Thanks God no.
80. Broke someone's heart = MAYBE. well.. it's inevitable.
81. Had your own heart broken = not something that I like to be reminded about.
82. Been arrested = is been caught by warden count? hahahha if it counts then my answer would be a lot!
83. Turned someone down = sigh. plenty of time.
84. Cried when someone died= yes. I think. but not at that moment. most of the time it was during the flashbacks.
85. Fallen for a friend = my class filled with boys, so it's inevitable (I love using this word!)


86. Yourself = when I needed to. You never know what a person can be when motivated..

87. Miracles = I guess so.
88. Love at first sight = nope. I think that would be just a crush. To fall in love for someone you just see, is kinda ridiculous to me..
89. Heaven = YES! 
90. Santa Claus = nope.
91. Kiss on the first date = nope. as well.
92. Angels = all da time!


A very short post, I assumed.

Last weekend was superb. I got to watch Mama, which is I think a fine horror movie. It's good in a way that everyone scream their hearts out. ( 2 days after that I still sleep with my light on =.=") Not that it matters anyway since most of the time I slept around 4-5 am. My sleeping habit is kinda getting worse. I'm not sure what makes me so awake on the night. My morning starts around noon. Apparently my biological timezone not in sync with the surrounding again. And it is pain in the ass to fix that.

I bought Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.  :) It is some kind of spin-off from Harry Potter. Being a die-hard fan, I feel like being a kid given a lollipop. I should put this moment as the time that I've been truly happy.Besides I've found 3, eh, 4 novels that I'm dying to buy... So hopefully that RM250 rebate is coming soon, because I can't wait to bought them. :D

That this week it's back to being in slumber again. Nothing much is going around I guess, but the results coming out, that's what people said. I really hate that nerve-wrecking feeling that I had since yesterday. My friends told me that I'll be fine, but why do I have a hard time to believe that. I shall go distract my mind for a while until I get to see the outcomes.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Happy, Money, and Cats

I think because it's holiday, I got to post a lot of my thoughts whenever I want. The thing is this holiday felt so.. abrupt. Well, I do know that my holiday started this week, but usually I planned things to do during holiday. This time, I don't. One day, the exam was over, then I don't know what to do. I get lost I guess. My friends are busy with their researches so I don't feel like to bug them too much. So I guess I have a lot of time to let my thoughts wander. When it happens I have to write it down because I don't like feeling overthinking of something and let it scattered my brain. Plus, nothing interesting on tv lately (or I don't watch tv a lot).

Today is already 16th of January, so I don't felt like sharing my feeling on the end of last year and what happens on the New Year. As usual though I get to go to KL again last Christmas. It was awesome except the fact that I lost my ID card, and I spent one whole day buat IC baru because I need to use it to get back home =.=". What make this 2013 different, is probably my resolution. Last year, my resolutions was pretty general. To love more, to live more and be happy. And I was. I accomplished that. Not really shown in my face but I think I'm contented with my life right now. Sure, there are bad days, and hardships but what life without challenges, right? In one way, that resolution what kept my feet on the grounds and Alhamdulillah I stayed sane.

This year though, I'm keeping the same resolution with some extra. I'v read it somewhere before on how to keep a resolution is to be more specific. So I've thought hard to specified what I want for this year.

This is my 2013 Resolutions:

  1. Graduate. I was bitter throughout October 2012 because I didn't graduate on time. It was my fault, so it felt hard because I can't blamed anybody but me. So I'll ensure that I graduate this year. Whatever it takes. I'll go to re-test if I have to. I've wanted to graduate this year so much that I can bear to think the alternative.
  2. Embrace myself. I'm always self-conscious. About my weight, my face, my skin color. It sometimes affect me a lot. I'm 22 now, going to 23 this year, I need to start to take care of my life. I don't think being thin and pretty is important, but I'd like if I can keep being healthy. Changing habits are hard, so baby steps one at a time. Get exercise regularly, do give attention of what I eat and so forth. I might not lose any weight, but if I can kept myself from any sickness this year, that will be awesome.
  3. Save money. I 'm very impulsive on this matter. Sometimes I can hold my urge on shopping, sometimes I don't. I just bought it without any second thoughts. It's dangerous for me at this point. I don't have scholarship anymore. I don't take PTPTN loan. My savings, I think, is enough to pay for the next semester's fee, but as any normal young adults, I like to go out a lot. And my mom starts talking about get a job. =.=" and I owed my mom a lot. So I really need to sort out priorities when it comes on spending the money.
  4. Filled the Jar of Happiness. Yes, I have a jar of happiness. It's not really a jar though. I've read it my friend's facebook about the idea of putting your happy events in a jar and by the end of the year, you got to read it. It's pretty awesome idea. So, besides blog, I have one more place to put my happy thoughts. And I think it cools that if I had a bad day, I can take a look at it to remind myself that I am happy and those bad days are not a big deals, because I know I can be happy. Cool, kan?
  5. Watch a movie alone. By that, I mean, go to MBO or any other cinema, pick a movie and watched it by myself. I never have guts to do that. I guess I am pretty insecure to have fun on my own. I want to be more confident about myself, so that's one fun way to do so. :D
  6. Go for a trip with friends. We've been talking about this for a while. We all have experiences going for trips with family but not on our own. I think it would be awesome, because we got to plan it our own, with our own budget. I hope it happening soon though.
I think that's all. It's more like what I want to do in this year. I love resolutions because it gave me sense of purposes :D So I really hope that I can fulfill all of it.

random story: A stray cat somehow got inside my home. When I've heard the noises I thought it was robbers. My heart literally skips a beat. T_T I don't really scared of cats, but I think started to develop the phobia on them. 

What I've missed

I got bored. so I wrote this.

Things that I think I missed the most:
  1. Tonnes of sleepover. either it was in my dorm or my friend's, we always have sleepover during Friday and weekend nights and make our own party. :) Watch movies is a must. then play games. 'Hack' each others fb. Have a deep talk. Shallow talk too. Go for late brunches and watch movies again. Happy times, indeed.
  2. No curfew. Living in college gives me a freedom of making own decision. I don't have curfew. So we can go out for a drive at 1 am and no one cares. We're not going to wild parties or do extremely dangerous things. Sometimes we just drive along that empty road and have fun watching the nights.
  3. Study group. Since we basically live in the same college, we can plan study group anytime and anywhere we want. 
  4. Basketball and Dancing. These two activities are what my friends and I do a lot, so not having them here, kinda sucks.
  5. Go for college events. I don't live in college now, so I don't have reasons to attend it. Plus, it always held on nights and I have curfews so yes, it sucks. No formal dinners. :(
  6. Packing and Going Home. well, I never liked packing. I still don't like it. yet I miss packing, and be whiny about it. Scavenging boxes in Desa Ilmu, carrying the boxes from my room to the store was hell, but again when with friends anything can be fun. And I always go back a few days after the last paper because we always planned some kind of end-of-semester celebration. We've made it special by dressing up and really let go of the stresses. Up all night, then go back to our hometown on the next day. My hometown now is Kuching, so it wasn't really as excited as riding bus for 7 freaking hours to Sibu with all those luggage. hahaha. :D
I miss my friends. A lot. We're contacting each other now and then, but I do miss them. I miss the time that we had in university. This semester is harder because, this is the first time that I went into classes alone. They all graduated, so I was here alone. I took it pretty hard, I guess. This final exam week was even harder. I used to have advantages studying with them but now I do feel like I am on my own. Each of us have our own role in handling stresses together and I always feel that I was strong getting through that four years because I always knew they are there. Truth to be told, I was scared for this semester. I was scared that I can't hold on. They knew that, and still be there for me. Not literally but I know they are and I always thankful for that.

Well, I guess life goes on and don't wait for anyone. Things change and I have to adapt with it. Still, I miss my friends. 

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Charlie and Wendy. and Emma Roberts.

I love reading. so much. I read pretty much anything. From books, to blogposts, even notices on the notice board. I just like reading. It gave me some kind of peace which I have no idea how to describe. Hence I have a lot magazines, and novels, and newspapers. Not to mention hours spending in front of my laptop reading funny stories I get from internet. Reading gives me different perspective in viewing things in my life.

Enough of gloating, 20 minutes ago, I've done reading The Perks of Being A Wallflower. What took me 20 minutes to write this down? My broadband is slow tonight because it almost reaching its usage limits now, and I just my finished my dinner. Well, to be honest it was okay. Or maybe because I was really hungry while reading and my mom called me twice while I'm reading it, I get distracted. So, I don't really tapping myself into the story. Or. this novel is from a teenager's perspective on what he's going through at the time. And I'm not a teenager anymore. As much as I hated to admit it, it is true. I'm not saying that I'm grown up already, but I think I've been through what this Charlie had been, and now my perspective might has changed a little bit. 

Thankfully, I haven't watch the movie, so it gives my brain a freedom of imagination. Unfortunately, I happen to know the actors that cast for the characters and for some reason I kept portraying how the actors trying to act the characters. Well, maybe I should go re-read it again, then watch the movie and re-read it again. See if my perspective of this novel would change. Overall, I still think the way it's written is brilliant. It's from the Charlie (main character) POV and he describes his complicated thoughts brilliantly. The complicated feeling that I get from this novel is pretty similar with the movie that I watched a while ago It' Kind of a Funny Story starred by Emma Roberts. Not so much of a review, eh?

Anyway, talking about novels, I want to share an awesome trilogies that my friends and I were so excited about. It's Trylle novel series by Amanda Hocking. It started with Switched, then Torn, then the final is ascend. I bought Switched and thought it was awesome because most Fantasy novels these days are more into witches, werewolves and vampires (duh..) but this one is about troll. Then Wan give me Torn as my birthday gift and it is getting even better. Finally she bought Ascend which is the final installment of the series. I haven't read it since I don't want to distract my focus for my final exam. Now that holiday started, maybe I should borrow it after I finished re-reading The Perks of Being A Wallflower. 

random: my life is fine. It's not fair sometimes but it's fine. I figured that everyone has problems so I just sort of wing it.